Amelia Rose

I have stared at this blank window for 37 minutes. I've written, erased, written, reworded, erased, written, erased. It is just so hard to transcribe my emotions.

You were due on the anniversary of my miscarriage. I was told you probably had Spina Bifida, that you'd be paralyzed and that I should prepare myself for anencephaly. We waited 23 days to see a genetic counselor. We waited 23 days for a diagnostic ultrasound. There was a mass on my placenta that we needed to hope would not become vascular and cause you to go into cardiac arrest. I spent 3 days in neuro ICU after pregnancy hormones triggered a migraine so severe that they thought I had a stroke. 3 CT scans and one MRI. Topped off with a Pitocin induction and an epidural that did not work.

All of that bad news meant nothing.

You are so smart. And seriously, so funny. You have a voice and you don't let people forget it. The three of us are wrapped around your finger and we don't even mind. We miss you when you're sleeping. You are an incredibly special little girl and you have been from the start.

Happy 1st Birthday, baby. Mama loves you.

Throwback Thursday: Things You Shouldn't Say to a Pregnant Woman

Originally posted November 17, 2012

I don't know what it is about us pregnant women but it seems like we turn everyone into an expert, a doctor or a Class A Asshole.

I will not lie. This time around, I am absolutely miserable. I am HUGE, I can't sit for too long, I can't stand for too long, I can barely walk, I've got stretch marks, a triple chin and I just cannot shake the exhaustion. I refuse to get into the details of the crazy shit that is going on with my body. However, despite all of this, I continue on with life. I spend my day acting as if I am skipping though daisy fields, hiding the fact that I want to tear everyones damn face off. (Did I mention that my hormones are completely out of control?)

Some of the things that have been said to me have left me at a loss for words. I wouldn't say half of them to anyone, even if I was completely joking.

Wow, you are so big! No shit. This is the last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear. Especially when her maternity clothes are starting to get a little snug. I am not lying when I tell you that the Director of HR came up to my desk and said, "OMG!....ERIN!" Yes, I'm a beached whale, thanks for the reminder. And yes, there is only one in there. And yes, I know she's going to be big. And yes, I'm aware that it looks like I'm smuggling a watermelon.

You STILL haven't popped yet? Oh, yeah, this big belly is just a fake. Surprise! Come on. I am counting down the hours at this point. If YOU feel like it's taking forever, how do you think I feel?

Should you be drinking that coffee? I must have missed the MD on the end of your name. I already have a OBGYN though. Thanks anyway!

Are you going to have an episiotomy? You're going to breastfeed, right? Are you going to breastfeed? Are you going to have an epidural? You're not going to have an epidural, are you? You should stay home. You're going to go back to work? OMG, STOP IT! You're making my head explode! And why are you, a stranger, asking me questions about my vagina?

Your life is over. Clearly, you know nothing. I already have a child and my life didn't end then. It's certainly not going to end this time. I will just have a fan club with me now, wherever I go.

Oh honey, you've got some varicose veins. Just shut up and finish my pedicure.

Can you see why I want to gouge the eyes out of anyone that crosses my path? I am incredibly blessed to pregnant with a healthy baby girl. I am grateful for that, do not get me wrong.

You know what you SHOULD say to a pregnant woman? "You look great", even if she doesn't. And make sure you're handing her a cupcake while you're saying it.

Throwback Thursday: DIY Horizontal Stripes

Originally posted October 29, 2012

After seeing this pink and white striped wall, I was obsessed with the idea. I figured that the large stripes would be a great way to get pink on the walls without having to commit to all 4 walls. I love me some pink but a whole room of it would be a little overwhelming. After stalking browsing the Pottery Barn website and catalog, I settled on grey and pink.

Like most things I do, I researched the horizontal stripes, to death. A combination of this and this helped me though the project.

I started out painting the entire wall pink because, well, pink is lighter than grey. After letting the pink paint completely dry and settle for a couple of days, I got down to measuring and taping. I did start out with a laser level but the wall was a little bumpy and the laser was only $20. Trust me when I say, this is not the best combination. I ended up just using a box level and drawing lines across the wall with a pencil. Oy. Okay, it DID go pretty quickly and I actually learned how to use a box level! Haha.

The height of the wall, from moulding to ceiling is 93″ so I used the same method as UnskinnyBoppy – 7 stripes, each 13 inches tall, with the bottom one ending up to be 15 inches. Honestly, now that the moulding is on, you cannot tell that it’s larger than the rest. Add some furniture and a cute baby….no one will notice, ever.

I got out my blue painters tape and put it right over my pencil marks. This is where your steady hand and all of your patience come into play! You want to make sure that the tape goes on the outside of the stripes that you’re going to paint with your darker color. That sounds a little confusing. If your stripes are going to be 13″ tall, make sure you’re taping it so that they end up that way. It doesn’t matter if the tape shrinks the stripes that will stay the original color…you aren’t painting those! I also used the painters tape to mark which stripes were NOT going to be painted, just to make it easier for my pregnant brain. Blue tick marks = no grey paint. Got it.

I used a credit card (Sorry, Amex) to smooth out the tape and make sure that it was completely stuck to the wall. The last thing you want is for the paint to bleed through.

THATS IT! PAINT AWAY! If you need two coats (I did), you want to do that as soon as you finish your first coat. Do not let it dry! You risk ripping the paint right off! After your second coat, pull all of that tape right off. Slowwww and steady. It takes an hour to put up and 45 seconds to pull off. It’s heartbreaking!

Now step back and admire your work. Ahhhhhh.

If there was any bleeding or peeling, I would wait until everything is dry before you go in for the touch up. I think that the measuring, lining, taping and painting took about 2.5 hours. The wall is not very big. And if I didn’t have a big belly in the way or Twitter to distract me, I probably could have finished it in under 2. I couldn’t have accomplished anything at all though, without my trusty helper. ;) (The greys are the same color, I swear!)

I’m so excited to get some furniture and linens into the room! My husband just recently put up new trim and closet doors, all in crisp white, which I love. I should also take new photos during the natural daylight. These look so dull and off color. Oh well…..maybe once it’s finished!

New Mom Beauty Essentials

This isn't my first rodeo, but I would most certainly consider myself a new mom. I'm not sleeping, I've got a little extra weight on me and it takes 3 hours to get out of the house. For me, this is not like riding a bicycle - my son was the easiest baby ever. When I put my baby girl down, I know that I have between 3 and 5 minutes to get myself ready before she starts getting annoyed. Here are my 5 favorite things to use when I'm trying to get out of the house.



Dry Shampoo - You don't get a whole lot of time to shower, let alone blow-dry! I hate leaving the house with wet hair so I'd rather just use a dry shampoo when my hair is looking a little slick. Dry shampoo has come a long way and drug store versions perform just as well as the more expensive ones. My favorite is Got2B's dry shampoo. It's only $6!

Tinted Moisturizer - Honestly, I was never big on foundation. I couldn't find one that didn't make me look as if I'd caked it on. Tinted moisturizers typically have sunscreen in them which is a big plus, making this one product replace three. Truth be told, they don't offer a ton of coverage so if you have troublesome skin, you might need something more. But, it's nice to know that you can throw is on and it will help you look a little more alive. I like Mary Kay's tinted moisturizer, $18.

Highlighter - Ahhh, the shimmer. I typically wear a highlighter when I'm going out or trying to look fancy. However, I wore it daily throughout my pregnancy and now wear it everyday. Lol. I figured my dewy cheeks would distract people from the bags under my eyes and the multiple chins I had going on. It worked because people would compliment my pregnancy glow. Sorry y'all, it was just my highlighter. Under the eyes and a little on the cheeks, goes a long way. For a long time, Benefit's Moon Beam was my favorite but it's been replaced with Benefit's NEW highlighter, Watts Up. $30. (The price is steep but it lasts a long time! Believe me, I'm cheap frugal.)

Lip/Cheek stain - I'm not joking when I said that I have an average of 4 minutes to make myself look alive, much less presentable. I also like my makeup to be pretty basic - I don't wear false eyelashes to Target (I know people who do!). A lip and cheek stain gives a nice wash of color and obviously, is a 2 in 1. It's also nice because you can build the color, making your lips darker than your cheeks. I like to keep it old school and prefer to use Benefit's Benetint, $29.

Coconut Oil - MY HOLY GRAIL! I use coconut oil to moisturize my face, my body, my kids and anyone else that comes through my door. I also use it to take my eye makeup off. And I use it in my cupcakes, instead of vegetable oil. There is a bunch of information on the internet about coconut oil and it's fabulousness. I don't know if I believe every single use that I've read but I have sipped the Koolaid. For an oil, it sold in its solid form, which is nice. The scent is pretty light, as I HATE coconut anything. It absorbs quickly and it doesn't make me break out. It's becoming extremely popular so it's availability is growing. However, the best price I've seen is at Trader Joes, $5.99. (UH-MAY-ZING PRICE!)

I don't have drawers or train cases of makeup and I lack the attention span/ skill to apply 45 different colors to one eye. I do, however, try a lot of different products. Hopefully this helps anyone in the New Mom (or busy student/overnight shift worker/ etc) boat. Love!