Throwback Thursday: Things You Shouldn't Say to a Pregnant Woman

Originally posted November 17, 2012

I don't know what it is about us pregnant women but it seems like we turn everyone into an expert, a doctor or a Class A Asshole.

I will not lie. This time around, I am absolutely miserable. I am HUGE, I can't sit for too long, I can't stand for too long, I can barely walk, I've got stretch marks, a triple chin and I just cannot shake the exhaustion. I refuse to get into the details of the crazy shit that is going on with my body. However, despite all of this, I continue on with life. I spend my day acting as if I am skipping though daisy fields, hiding the fact that I want to tear everyones damn face off. (Did I mention that my hormones are completely out of control?)

Some of the things that have been said to me have left me at a loss for words. I wouldn't say half of them to anyone, even if I was completely joking.

Wow, you are so big! No shit. This is the last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear. Especially when her maternity clothes are starting to get a little snug. I am not lying when I tell you that the Director of HR came up to my desk and said, "OMG!....ERIN!" Yes, I'm a beached whale, thanks for the reminder. And yes, there is only one in there. And yes, I know she's going to be big. And yes, I'm aware that it looks like I'm smuggling a watermelon.

You STILL haven't popped yet? Oh, yeah, this big belly is just a fake. Surprise! Come on. I am counting down the hours at this point. If YOU feel like it's taking forever, how do you think I feel?

Should you be drinking that coffee? I must have missed the MD on the end of your name. I already have a OBGYN though. Thanks anyway!

Are you going to have an episiotomy? You're going to breastfeed, right? Are you going to breastfeed? Are you going to have an epidural? You're not going to have an epidural, are you? You should stay home. You're going to go back to work? OMG, STOP IT! You're making my head explode! And why are you, a stranger, asking me questions about my vagina?

Your life is over. Clearly, you know nothing. I already have a child and my life didn't end then. It's certainly not going to end this time. I will just have a fan club with me now, wherever I go.

Oh honey, you've got some varicose veins. Just shut up and finish my pedicure.

Can you see why I want to gouge the eyes out of anyone that crosses my path? I am incredibly blessed to pregnant with a healthy baby girl. I am grateful for that, do not get me wrong.

You know what you SHOULD say to a pregnant woman? "You look great", even if she doesn't. And make sure you're handing her a cupcake while you're saying it.

Throwback Thursday: DIY Chevron Crib Sheet

Originally posted November, 11, 2012

It’s hard to not love everything that Pottery Barn Kids has to offer. That goes for Pottery Barn in general, but especially the kids stuff. After ordering a blanket from Etsy, I decided that the grey chevron sheet would be the perfect match for baby girl’s nursery. Everything was going well until the website informed me that the sheet wouldn’t ship until January 23, 2013. Sorry guys, but I’m hoping that she’s at least a month old by then!

So I turned to Etsy. The most inexpensive chevron sheet was $30 before shipping. And I wanted at least two. Yikes. Next stop was Google, where I found Carousel Designs. They have beautiful sheets, in the perfect colors and patterns…but also $29 a piece. I don’t care how much money I have available to me, I just cannot spend $30 on one crib sheet!

After pouting for a minute or two, my Mother in Law suggested that I just make the sheets. “It’s can’t be that hard, right?”

Aside from the fact that I had only turned my sewing machine on twice, ever and that I hadn’t actually created anything with it… SURE, WHY NOT? Carousel Designs also sells fabric. I ordered 2 yards of pink and 2 yards of grey. Oh. Man.

I found a bunch of tutorials online (YAY INTERNETS!) but I used this one, because I think it explains the process the best. I did a test run with fabric I got very cheap at Walmart and somehow, it turned out pretty well! It was so easy and it actually fits the crib. A Christmas miracle!

I started out by cutting the fabric down to 69″ x 47″ from 72″ x 54″. The tutorial calls for 67″ x 45″ but I wanted to give myself extra room, especially because I wasn’t going to measure anything but the initial overall size of the fabric! I also cut it with pinking sheers because I do not have a serger and I lack the patience to fold and pin and fold and sew. Lol.

Next was the edge folding. I eyeballed it but figured I’d give myself about an inch. This was so when I pulled the elastic through, it was easy and I didnt have to worry about sewing too close to the edge. Iron the folded over edge on all sides of the sheet. I then cut the 8″ x 8″ squares from the corners. I unfolded the corners for this step. I probably should have cut the corners first and then pressed the edges over. Oh well. Next time! I then went around and sewed the edges I had just cut, in order to make the pockets for the mattress.

Next, I sewed the little elastic pocket I made with the fold-and-iron technique. I used a zig zag stitch for no other reason than to match the pattern of the sheet itself. Lol. The picture above is the seam of a corner (on the left) where it meets the seam of the elastic casing.

After all of the edges are sewn, you have to add the elastic. I used the safety pin technique that’s in the tutorial. It’s easy but tedious. I used 72″ of 1/4 inch elastic, I had used 80″ in my original test sheet and thought it was a little too much and that it could be a tighter. I bought a 3 yd roll at Walmart for $.97. Once the elastic is through, sew the ends of it together and then close the opening in the casing.

You’re done!

The moment of truth: putting it on the mattress. Woo! It fits! Now it just has to be washed and dewrinkled.

2 yards of fabric: $15. ($7.50/yd)
3 yards of 1/4 elastic: $.97.

Total cost: $15.97. Just about 50% less expensive and it takes about an hour. Love!

If I can do it, anyone can. It’s also given me the itch to DIY a lot of other things. The nursery still needs curtains/ valances. Those cannot be too hard. The grey chevron sheet is up next, though.

Pictures are iPhone photos. Sorry (again)!

Throwback Thursday: DIY Horizontal Stripes

Originally posted October 29, 2012

After seeing this pink and white striped wall, I was obsessed with the idea. I figured that the large stripes would be a great way to get pink on the walls without having to commit to all 4 walls. I love me some pink but a whole room of it would be a little overwhelming. After stalking browsing the Pottery Barn website and catalog, I settled on grey and pink.

Like most things I do, I researched the horizontal stripes, to death. A combination of this and this helped me though the project.

I started out painting the entire wall pink because, well, pink is lighter than grey. After letting the pink paint completely dry and settle for a couple of days, I got down to measuring and taping. I did start out with a laser level but the wall was a little bumpy and the laser was only $20. Trust me when I say, this is not the best combination. I ended up just using a box level and drawing lines across the wall with a pencil. Oy. Okay, it DID go pretty quickly and I actually learned how to use a box level! Haha.

The height of the wall, from moulding to ceiling is 93″ so I used the same method as UnskinnyBoppy – 7 stripes, each 13 inches tall, with the bottom one ending up to be 15 inches. Honestly, now that the moulding is on, you cannot tell that it’s larger than the rest. Add some furniture and a cute baby….no one will notice, ever.

I got out my blue painters tape and put it right over my pencil marks. This is where your steady hand and all of your patience come into play! You want to make sure that the tape goes on the outside of the stripes that you’re going to paint with your darker color. That sounds a little confusing. If your stripes are going to be 13″ tall, make sure you’re taping it so that they end up that way. It doesn’t matter if the tape shrinks the stripes that will stay the original color…you aren’t painting those! I also used the painters tape to mark which stripes were NOT going to be painted, just to make it easier for my pregnant brain. Blue tick marks = no grey paint. Got it.

I used a credit card (Sorry, Amex) to smooth out the tape and make sure that it was completely stuck to the wall. The last thing you want is for the paint to bleed through.

THATS IT! PAINT AWAY! If you need two coats (I did), you want to do that as soon as you finish your first coat. Do not let it dry! You risk ripping the paint right off! After your second coat, pull all of that tape right off. Slowwww and steady. It takes an hour to put up and 45 seconds to pull off. It’s heartbreaking!

Now step back and admire your work. Ahhhhhh.

If there was any bleeding or peeling, I would wait until everything is dry before you go in for the touch up. I think that the measuring, lining, taping and painting took about 2.5 hours. The wall is not very big. And if I didn’t have a big belly in the way or Twitter to distract me, I probably could have finished it in under 2. I couldn’t have accomplished anything at all though, without my trusty helper. ;) (The greys are the same color, I swear!)

I’m so excited to get some furniture and linens into the room! My husband just recently put up new trim and closet doors, all in crisp white, which I love. I should also take new photos during the natural daylight. These look so dull and off color. Oh well…..maybe once it’s finished!

Throwback Thursday: 1994

Martha's Vineyard. I'm second from the right. Poor photo quality because it's a picture of a picture!

Love finding photos like this!

Throwback Thursday: 1986

Just me, being the best big sister ever. ;) My brother was a couple of months old. I loved snuggling babies, even then!



(It's a picture of a picture. Sorry!)